Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Running is my therapy.

I have no idea where this post is going, so, I apologize in advance. I'm just really frustrated. There are things going on in my family that are way beyond my control, and really there is nothing I can even do about it. In spite of any good intentions I may have of fixing anything, I know that any actions I take could seriously blow up in my face. So, it basically leaves me with my hands tied. I'm the type of person who has a "fix-it" mentality. When a conflict arises, I want to resolve it and move on appropriately. However, with this particular conflict, I can't do a darn thing because, as I just mentioned, it will blow up in my face, no matter how sincere my intentions are.

After learning some news this morning, it appeared very convenient that I was heading to the gym for a run this morning. I needed an outlet for the emotions and frustrations I was feeling at the time. I made it to the gym and was able to crank out 5 miles at an average 8:57 pace. I've found that I tend to get better paces when I'm venting my frustrations through running. Does running make my feelings over a particular situation go away? Heck no. I really wish it did though. It doesn't make the feelings go away, but it does calm that desire to throw something through the wall. Because of my "fix-it" mentality, when my hands are tied with a particular situation, it often makes me envision myself throwing something through the wall. And I really want to throw something through the wall. So, instead of exerting that energy by throwing something, I exert it by running. Running is how I'm able to release that anger and bitterness without harming anything (like said wall).

I've been working hard at trying to run or go to a spinning class most days of the week. I really think its partly due to all of the emotions I've been carrying over the last couple months related to everything going on. Running is my physical outlet for all the negative emotions I carry.

So, I want to know... how does running help you, besides the obvious physical benefits? How does it help you cope with life?

Also... several weeks ago, I had mentioned something that was potentially happening that would create a HUGE life change. Well, that potential change will not be taking place. Its disappointing and relieving all at once. It would have been an awesome opportunity, but on the other hand, its relieving to know we won't be going anywhere super-duper far away for awhile (although I DO still want to go somewhere semi-far from here).

Aaaaaaand... some of you are probably wondering where Ann is. She'll be back!! I'll let her divulge what she wants to divulge. But she will be back soon. :) I love you, sis!!

2 comments:

  1. prayers for you in this situation.

    running helps my stress level. i get overwhelmed then do nothing b/c of stress (that i'm getting nothing done) running breaks that crazy cycle.

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  2. oh man I know how it is to want to share and yet know it's better not to. Running is a great way to get out the stress, so is finding a good friend to vent to then laugh!

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